Discover a proven pathway for transforming shame from a self-punishing emotion into a powerful ally for your health and happiness.
Why do we feel shame? Given how painful and destructive shame can be, it’s easy to see this emotion as an inner demon that turns our own mind against us. Yet shame is a universal emotion—and it serves an important purpose. “While toxic shame can keep us stuck in a self-defeating vortex,” say Bret Lyon and Sheila Rubin, “there is a healthy expression of shame designed to protect us, help us change, and actually build our self-esteem.”
With Embracing Shame, these expert teachers share an invaluable guide to an emotion so volatile that most of us—including therapists—avoid talking about it. Here this husband and wife team, cofounders of the Center for Healing Shame, examine the dynamics of shame, the reasons it arises, why it causes such harm, and how we can heal its negative effects. Through case studies, creative tools, and body-based practices, they invite you to explore:
• The purpose of shame—How it is meant to protect and guide us, and why it gets distorted into a self-sabotaging emotion
• How shame disguises itself by “binding” to other emotions—and methods for disentangling these complex feelings
• The ways shame forms in childhood, evolves as we grow, is impacted by trauma, and takes residence in the body
• Practical guidance for regulating common shame-based challenges—including the inner critic, imposter syndrome, perfectionism, intimacy in relationships, and much more
While no amount of self-talk, personal success, or therapy can eradicate shame, we can transform shame into the supportive, health-promoting force it was meant to be. Created as a go-to resource for laypersons and healing professionals alike, Embracing Shame offers an achievable path for reclaiming the true potential of this vital emotion to help us grow, connect, and find a new confidence in the way we move through life.
Are you longing to live a life filled with love, compassion and confidence?
Understanding shame is key to personal growth and healing, whether you're just starting your journey or have tried many different modalities.
Shame is the missing piece; we all carry it, but few know how to spot it.
I didn't realize I had shame until I found Bret and Sheila. As a life coach, I approached their trainings professionally, but their work profoundly changed me as a person. I've become a better parent, friend, and partner.
I can attest to the power of Bret and Sheila's work in my own personal journey of healing from toxic, pervasive shame. This book is a balm for the soul. It normalizes the experience of shame and slowly, gently teaches us how transform it into something that will guide and inform, not rule our lives. I highly recommend it to all humans and those who are curious about this thing we call 'shame'.
With tremendous courage, Bret and Shiela cast a light on this amorphous thing that we all hide in, and in this light, we can begin to see, to name, to give back, to counter, and to embrace the shame that resides in so many of us struggling. Their book also shines a beautiful light on our most important relationship we can ever develop, our relationship with our inner child and how to heal the shame that our inner children carry. A book that masterfully combines the vital inner child work and the shame work is truly a unique gem.
I am forever grateful for Bret and Sheila and for their sincere dedication to help people heal from shame. Thank you Sheila and Bret, for this beautiful book that you gifted us, a light which will continue to shine bright!