0
Your Cart

Surviving a Borderline Parent is the first step-by-step guide for adult children of parents with borderline personality disorder.

Between 6 and 10 million people in the US suffer from borderline personality disorder. This book teaches adult children how to overcome the devastating effects of growing up with a parent who suffers from BPD.

Although relatively common, borderline personality disorder (BPD) is often overlooked or misdiagnosed by therapists and clinicians and denied by those who suffer from it.

Symptoms of this problem include unpredictability, violence and uncontrollable anger, deep depression and self-abuse. Parents with BPD are often unable to provide for the basic physical and emotional needs of their children. In an ironic and painful role reversal, BPD parents can actually raise children to be their caretakers. They may burden even very young children with adult responsibilities.

If you were raised by a BPD parent, your childhood was a volatile and painful time. This book, the first written specifically for children of borderline parents, offers step-by-step guidance to understanding and overcoming the lasting effects of being raised by a person suffering from this disorder. Discover specific coping strategies for dealing with issues common to children of borderline parents: low self-esteem, lack of trust, guilt, and hypersensitivity. Make the major decision whether to confront your parent about his or her condition.

13 reviews for Surviving a Borderline Parent: How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds and Build Trust, Boundaries, and Self-Esteem

  1. Chantel P.
    (13)
    October 15, 2023
    5.0 out of 5 stars Helpful
    I found this book to be helpful and informative
    Helpful? 0 0
    john olcsvay
    (13)
    August 28, 2023
    4.0 out of 5 stars Good book
    Worked for me, I use it with a client
    Helpful? 0 0
    David Lindenbaum
    (13)
    December 4, 2022
    5.0 out of 5 stars helpful
    Nice to hear that my upbringing was consistent with other people. Learning that I can be selfish instead of guilty is a big deal.
    Helpful? 5 0
    Edward MacCready
    (13)
    April 28, 2022
    5.0 out of 5 stars LOVE This Book! SO Easy To Understand/Relatable
    I absolutely love the writing style of this book! It is written with such compassion, yet honesty. The analogies and stories used are so relatable and...More
    I absolutely love the writing style of this book! It is written with such compassion, yet honesty. The analogies and stories used are so relatable and easy to understand. I wish so badly that there was a version of this book from the same writers with a focus on those who are friends, loved ones or family of a BPD. Highly recommend and if your parent does have BPD, this will be such an encouragement to read. You are NOT alone!
    Helpful? 0 0
    RB
    (13)
    October 18, 2021
    5.0 out of 5 stars Very helpful for any caregiver of person with BPD
    This book has greatly helped me deal with and better understand my mother. She has not been diagnosed, but after talking with a therapist she recommen...More
    This book has greatly helped me deal with and better understand my mother. She has not been diagnosed, but after talking with a therapist she recommended this book. After reading it, I can see how her behavior directly matches with the listed symptoms. The book helps me as an adult start to break free and try to develop a relationship healthy for me.
    Helpful? 0 0
    Chris Cordray
    (13)
    August 18, 2021
    5.0 out of 5 stars Great book for teens and young adults coming to terms with BPD parents
    Parental BPD can cause lasting damage for children. When abusive behavior goes unchecked, children growing up with a BPD parent are not equipped with ...More
    Parental BPD can cause lasting damage for children. When abusive behavior goes unchecked, children growing up with a BPD parent are not equipped with the coping tools needed to build sufficient self worth. They lack the stability and parental nurturing and it's affect can cripple individuals for life. This book clearly identifies with the struggles of children of a BPD parent, from confusion, to unhealthy coping skills, to forms of emotional abuse, to low self confidence. Easy to read and follow, the book relates in a way that almost seems like the author lived in the same household. Highly recommended for teens and young adults trying to find answers.
    Helpful? 3 0
    Katherine Blackwell
    (13)
    May 31, 2021
    5.0 out of 5 stars Wow
    Incredibly helpful. It’s not just about commiserating with stories that sound just like mine, but it gives a way to learn and move past your childhood...More
    Incredibly helpful. It’s not just about commiserating with stories that sound just like mine, but it gives a way to learn and move past your childhood and grow as an adult into the healthiest version of you.
    Helpful? 0 0
    Mr. Medium
    (13)
    January 26, 2020
    4.0 out of 5 stars Good luck to your kids...
    I bought this for my kids so they could figure out their mother.
    Helpful? 2 0
    Kevin
    (13)
    March 9, 2016
    5.0 out of 5 stars History Repeats Itself
    Years ago I picked up "Stop Walking on Eggshells" simply because the title described how I felt in my then marriage, not even having an inkling about ...More
    Years ago I picked up "Stop Walking on Eggshells" simply because the title described how I felt in my then marriage, not even having an inkling about what I was to discover - not only about my primary relationship - but, also who I was as a man. "Eggshells" led to my epiphanous realization that this whole dynamic was not merely coincidental: I had a BPD Mother. Fast forward 10+ years and I finally get around to picking up "Surviving a Borderline." The delay was in part that I'd perused a few other reads on BPD, but none really hit the mark for me until this book. Those who do not learn from the past are doomed to repeat it. If you are struggling with chronic depression, perhaps even bipolar, addictive in nature, tend towards codependency, and keep getting into relationships with scary partners, you might want to give this book a look. While I had no beef with the other books on BPD, none address our relationship concerns as they grew from our families of origin with the rigor and focus of "Surviving." If you don't make the connection that there might be a connection between your recurring crazy relationships and mommy or daddy dearest, think again. I have turned friends and family on to this book. It has impacted them in ways unimaginable. And I found I was not alone. Other people knew the scary confusion of the BPD's terrorizing and the resulting chaos. You cannot imagine the indescribable relief when you find out that your not CRAZY! Or at least not crazy in the way you thought you were. And then get ready to dig in and do the work with professionals. The book is very approachable and lays out not only how to wrap your head around the issue but, also, lays out a very good approach for working though and processing your past - so you have a heads up the next time you feel the urge to repeat it with the next hungry crazy....
    Helpful? 22 0
    Busy mom
    (13)
    August 16, 2015
    5.0 out of 5 stars Glad I found this book
    My mother would only admit to suffering from depression "sometimes", guess depression is quite widely accepted now. But for 5 years I suspected her of...More
    My mother would only admit to suffering from depression "sometimes", guess depression is quite widely accepted now. But for 5 years I suspected her of bipolar disorder, which fits her 80% of the time until I learned of borderline personality disorder, which fits her 100%. No book of this genre can truly speak to individual readers but this one comes close to touching on many aspects without making me think, "That's not my case, it's a waste of my time." I started out reading books on building self confidence, then quickly realized it's not my lack of self confidence but the constant emotional excursions and defeating talks from my mother that I accommodated my whole life, leading to the "new normal" for me. It's written in straightforward language without talking down to the reader, the only reason it took me over a month to finish reading is because of how painful it was to acknowledge and grieve along the way. This books has exercise, worksheets, and helpful suggestions. It touches on every aspect including childhood, adulthood, letting go if you can't get closure, whether you choose to confront the BPD parent, whether you still want them in your life or not, how to handle family and friends who don't want to acknowledge your experience, grieving the parent and childhood you wished to have, etc. I've learned to say "It's complicated" and decline to talk about it when certain people ask how my mother is doing. It's not normal for me to fear angering others anytime for no reason. It also touched on the fact that you're seeking out resources and reading this book, you're probably not going to be full blown BPD like you experienced.
    Helpful? 16 0
    gpaulgar
    (13)
    April 1, 2015
    4.0 out of 5 stars A Must-read for anyone whose parent has symptoms of borderline personality disorder
    This book can be helpful for anyone who has a parent with the puzzling, distressing, exhausting diagnosis of borderline personality disorder. It can ...More
    This book can be helpful for anyone who has a parent with the puzzling, distressing, exhausting diagnosis of borderline personality disorder. It can help an individual go from hating his parent to a basic understanding that his parent has a brain disorder. It can help with the extreme issues of love/hate from a parent. It can help to stop thinking one's parent is evil, manipulative and cruel. It brings a new freedom to the adult child of a parent with borderline personality disorder.
    Helpful? 4 0
    Sladania
    (13)
    March 5, 2015
    4.0 out of 5 stars ... found this highly relevant and it gave me some good tools to work through emotional baggage
    I found this highly relevant and it gave me some good tools to work through emotional baggage, thus it was practical in nature. I didn't finish it tho...More
    I found this highly relevant and it gave me some good tools to work through emotional baggage, thus it was practical in nature. I didn't finish it though - not because I didn't like it - I guess I started to work through things in a different way or something like that.
    Helpful? 0 0
    Cuckoo
    (13)
    December 3, 2013
    5.0 out of 5 stars READ IT!
    I have long understood want BPD is and have seen my parent act it out all of my life. In fact it is like Groundhog Day now to watch her cycles; it is ...More
    I have long understood want BPD is and have seen my parent act it out all of my life. In fact it is like Groundhog Day now to watch her cycles; it is so predictable.
    This book has given me tremendous insight as to how growing up with such a parent has affected me in my behavior today. For some time now I've been watching the two of us as a third party onlooker. By doing so I have been able to start to catch glimmers of how her behavior impacts my mood, my thought patterns, and how I interact with others. My sister and I have been reading it in unison and talking about what comes to mind --and sometimes it's a huge jolt! There's nothing we can do for our parent who won't see the issue, but we sure can do a lot for ourselves by recognizing how her patterns have impacted and do impact us.
    Chapter six was one of the most helpful to me, since I'm the one she moved close by to. It works. Decide where your boundaries are. Don't react--don't get on that roller coaster with your parent. Its hard at first, but gets less so the more you do it.. In my case, I didn't give in any step of the way, and now she isn't pushing my buttons. Because she doesn't get a reaction. Understanding the problem is one thing; this book helped me to internalize what I needed to do for me. READ THE BOOK!
    Helpful? 11 0
Add a review

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

X

Frequently bought with Surviving a Borderline Parent: How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds and Build Trust, Boundaries, and Self-Esteem


Learning From Autistic Teachers: How to Be a Neurodiversity-Inclusive School
(13)
Original price was: $49.99.Current price is: $19.99.
Internal Family Systems Therapy for Shame and Guilt
(13)
Original price was: $39.99.Current price is: $19.99.
Somatic Internal Family Systems Therapy: Awareness, Breath, Resonance, Movement and Touch in Practice
(13)
Original price was: $39.99.Current price is: $19.99.
The Autistic Brain: Thinking Across the Spectrum
(13)
Original price was: $79.99.Current price is: $19.99.
How to ADHD: An Insider's Guide to Working with Your Brain (Not Against It)
(13)
Original price was: $59.99.Current price is: $19.99.
Embracing Shame: How to Stop Resisting Shame and Turn It into a Powerful Ally
(13)
Original price was: $69.99.Current price is: $19.99.
Internal Family Systems Therapy
(13)
Original price was: $29.99.Current price is: $19.99.
Recovery of Your Inner Child: The Highly Acclaimed Method for Liberating Your Inner Self
(13)
Original price was: $49.99.Current price is: $19.99.
Cognitive Processing Therapy for PTSD: A Comprehensive Manual
(13)
Original price was: $39.99.Current price is: $19.99.
The Socratic Method: A Practitioner's Handbook
(13)
Original price was: $49.99.Current price is: $19.99.
No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma & Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model
(13)
Original price was: $29.99.Current price is: $19.99.
Schema Therapy: A Practitioner's Guide
(13)
Original price was: $69.99.Current price is: $19.99.
Healing Trauma with Guided Drawing: A Sensorimotor Art Therapy Approach to Bilateral Body Mapping
(13)
Original price was: $39.99.Current price is: $19.99.
Somatic Psychotherapy Toolbox: 125 Worksheets and Exercises for Trauma & Stress
(13)
Original price was: $39.99.Current price is: $19.99.
Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors: Overcoming Internal Self-Alienation
(13)
Original price was: $35.99.Current price is: $19.99.
Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones
(13)
Original price was: $32.99.Current price is: $17.99.
The PTSD Workbook: Simple, Effective Techniques for Overcoming Traumatic Stress Symptoms
(13)
Original price was: $35.99.Current price is: $19.99.
Principles of Trauma Therapy: A Guide to Symptoms, Evaluation, and Treatment ( DSM-5 Update)
(13)
Original price was: $34.99.Current price is: $19.99.
Autism and The Predictive Brain: Absolute Thinking in a Relative World
(13)
Original price was: $69.99.Current price is: $19.99.
Transcending Trauma: Healing Complex PTSD with Internal Family Systems
(13)
Original price was: $29.99.Current price is: $19.99.
Transforming The Living Legacy of Trauma: A Workbook for Survivors and Therapists
(13)
Original price was: $32.99.Current price is: $19.99.
Re-Write: A Trauma Workbook of Creative Writing and Recovery in Our New Normal
(13)
Original price was: $34.99.Current price is: $19.99.
Treating Pathological Narcissism with Transference-Focused Psychotherapy
(13)
Original price was: $79.99.Current price is: $19.99.
The Autism Spectrum, Sexuality and the Law: What every parent and professional needs to know
(13)
Original price was: $69.99.Current price is: $19.99.
Trauma Treatment Toolbox: 165 Brain-Changing Tips, Tools & Handouts to Move Therapy Forward
(13)
Original price was: $34.99.Current price is: $19.99.
ADHD is Awesome: A Guide to (Mostly) Thriving with ADHD
(13)
Original price was: $49.99.Current price is: $19.99.
Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make--and Keep--Friends Original price was: $49.99.Current price is: $19.99.
The Deepest Well: Healing the Long-Term Effects of Childhood Trauma and Adversity
(13)
Original price was: $32.99.Current price is: $19.99.
Partners in Play: An Adlerian Approach to Play Therapy
(13)
Original price was: $52.99.Current price is: $19.99.
Heal Your Nervous System: The 5–Stage Plan to Reverse Nervous System Dysregulation
(13)
Original price was: $49.99.Current price is: $19.99.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy For Dummies
(13)
Original price was: $29.99.Current price is: $19.99.
Trauma Stewardship: An Everyday Guide to Caring for Self While Caring for Others
(13)
Original price was: $29.99.Current price is: $19.99.